Unusual advice around emotions and reason
“You need to take the emotion out right now,” my business partner urged me.
Not typical advice I hear often. I’m a parent. There’s nothing in my world but emotions. Lots and lots of emotions.
But in this context, it was relevant and quite helpful. We were pouring over numbers and creating a business strategy. This triggered something in me where I started to become emotionally reactive. My anxiety about the goals I so desperately wanted to achieve flooded my nervous system. My thoughts about the numbers produced a sense of worry and doubt which then caused me to want to move fast (flee!) and act rashly. This high state of anxiety impacted my ability to think clearly and logically. There was no room for reason. Just pure reactive emotion.
Thankfully, my colleague who is a trusted mentor possessed the skill and experience to be able to lead me in the right direction. Without her intervention, my revved emotions would have taken me way off road. That wouldn’t have been a pretty sight. I’d eventually slow down and notice that I was off track and make corrections, but it was far more efficient and productive to have a coach alongside me as co-pilot.
Know what? It worked. And I liked it!
This new approach created an inner stillness and clear purpose.
So, of course this had me think about how to apply this at home – as a parent and a wife.
I experimented. Last Saturday an argument erupted between a couple of my kids. I did just as I was told the other day by my business partner. I took a breath, observed the intensity of fear and concern flood my body and I gave space to allow for my reasoning brain to step forward. What emerged: curiosity. I love curiosity! It creates an opening for learning and is not reactive like fear or anger.
Guess what? It worked again!
Taking out the emotions (or the high-intense reactive ones) really helped me be the promoter of peace in our house. In this case I truly was the calm inside the chaos. The best part is – it is contagious! Everybody is the calm.
For parents, that is a beautiful and magical thing.
Lora Lyons is on a mission to dignify the role of mothers.
As an entrepreneur and mom, she has first-hand experience of how easy it is to lose oneself inside the demands of a family. Her ground-breaking Mother’s Balancing Act coaching program is based on her journey to regain her sense of calm and stay connected to herself, her husband and her children. Lora wants you to be the calm inside the chaos and fully appreciate your worth and value. She shows you how to embody that through her unique and effective approach via email newsletters, tele-seminars and 1-on-1 and group coaching.
She holds a master’s degree in communications management, a certification as a somatic coach at Strozzi Institute and is a fourth-degree black belt in Kenpo Karate. You can sign up for her twice monthly “Being the Calm Inside the Chaos” email newsletter at http://LyonsLeadershipCoaching.com.
Looking for a dynamic and engaging speaker for your moms’ group or PTA? Lora LOVES sharing her work with groups.